donuts

Pete's ok, he's stoned about 85% of the time which sucks. I have nothing against smoking or even stoners really but this man literally cannot function when even the slightest bit intoxicated. He basically becomes useless. It just sucks because he's legit a nice a guy but having to pick up his slack constantly sucks especially when you aren't even super jazzed about picking up your own slack. Come on man if I can do the bare minimum this is a problem.\n\n\n[[Woah, that does suck sorry dude|Who do you work with?]]

Maybe I'm not cut out for this. I tend to push myself onto others and that might make you think that I'm actually cut out for this. That's what I thought but I'm gonna tell you up front that I'm choking hard. For the rest of the ride over to the delivery spot I ramble only semi-coherently. I can't say what I want or need to say but I at least manage to convey that Tony is important to me and that both of us are bigger than whatever this is. \n\nI tell him that he needs to meet me after the last order comes out behind the store. We need to leave quickly and head to the harbor, it's only a twelve minute drive especially as late as it is there should be absolutely no traffic at all. When we get there he should understand.\n\nTony looks me in the eye and points to a stack of comic books in the back seat. He tells me he'll read them while he waits.\n\nGood.\n\nThat'll make this a little easier.\n\nI feel bad. I don't know how much of this is me or him. Maybe I really am not cut out for this. At least this me isn't. \n\n[[Deploy the delivery]]

Nah.\n[[Give Dan the following order]]\n[[Give Tony the following order]]

Jim is an enigma. I can never tell how much of his personality is legitimate or a bit that has spiraled horribly out of control. I've given up trying to solve this puzzle. He's the kind of guy that will play devil's advocate for absolutely anything because he finds it really funny when people get angry at him. He seems to have absolutely no code or belief system it's basically the exact opposite of the loudest person in the room. I do have to admit that he is very very good at arguing. I thought I was annoying and opinionated but this guy gives me a run for my money, by the second hour of a pointless argument I need to tap out. This guy's kinda scary when he gets going. \n\n\n[[What the fuck|Who do you work with?]]

For a moment I want to tell Dan everything, like all of it. But I can't. It'd be too cruel to dish this all onto him now. He deserves to know but I don't think it'd be right. I at least wouldn't be able to sleep at night. That might make me selfish but once again I'm only human. I may be in a position of incredible power that even you my darling hostage have no idea about but I truly am just a guy. \n\nI think about this while I ruminate on the sour cream and cheese of my burrito until my thoughts turn to a highly successful trilogy of space fantasy films that defined my country's pop culture output basically into the forseeable future. I wonder if it's the same way for you.\n\nI get out of the car and look at Dan for a little too long, I'm usually way to awesome to wear my true feelings on my stupid face but I am legit bummed the fuck out and it's obvious. Dan gives me a concerned yet distant smile. That's enough, all I need to know. \n\nI think we got one more order to get through.\n\n[[Check in on Jim]]

He's as ready as he'll get.\n\nAs am I.\n\nFuck donuts.\n\n[[Check out the impending shoe droppage]]

"Tony look at it." I tell him.\n\n"Who's that? The lady in the car? Why is she dressed like-"\n\n"Like who?"\n\n"The cargirl from that comic you made me read."\n\n"Don't ask questions you already know the answers to. You know exactly what's happening. I already told you this has happened before, the details were different last time."\n\n"I'm scared dude." Tony says, his voice high and magic-flute like.\n\n"No reason to be, you are personally on the precipice of something huge my friend."\n\n"I'm not ready for whatever this is." \n\n"Tony, of course YOU aren't but I told you we've been through this so many times, there are a ton of YOUs that aren't ready by themselves, but you are not alone."\n\n"Oh my god."\n\n"There it is dude."\n\n"She's coming over."\n\n"Yeah she's our ticket out of here, we're gonna drive right the fuck through it, you just need to read it. Say that shit out loud. It's two words dude, you can do this." \n\n"..."\n\n"Come on man my hostage is getting tired of this! We're just wasting their time now. Let them off the hook finally. Don't do it for me! Do it for them!"\n\n[["It says..."]]

Dan's car is pretty nice, not that it matters I guess this is what you get when you are rich but don't stink of it. Your parents buy you a nice car because you get into a good college and you take good care of it. It doesn't smell of ass or feet and the passenger footwell isn't a junkyard of fast food wrappers and other shit.\n\nI've never owned a car but I can't imagine treating on like a fucking dump. Dan wastes no time blasting the rest of his Ovalhauler album. The city melts away outside of the car. Dan's music always does this, it's downright magical. As a die hard advocate of rock and roll I have to confess that for the longest time I had dismissed the entirety of electronic music as nothing but 'souless synthetic noise created by machines'.\n\nHey I'm not perfect I got hells of faults. I can be wrong. \n\n"What's this album called?" I ask him earnestly not that it will matter anyway. \n"Push, Baby." he says with kungfu quickness. "With a comma in the middle, you know like telling somebody to PUSH IT BABY as opposed to a baby that pushes shit."\n\nI laugh. Dan can do that to me and it freaks me out. nobody is funny anymore how can this guy make me laugh. \n\n"You know I've known you for almost a year now and I still don't know what you actually study, is it music related? Like production or something?"\n\n"Nah, Bradburn doesn't even offer programs like that. I'm a law student."\n\nThis feels like a karate chop to the throat. \n\n"Law? What the fuck that's the last thing I would have guessed."\n\n"I know, right? But it's not what you think." \n\n"Really?"\n\n"Yeah, well first of all it's more of a backup plan, I can currently cover alot of my own personal expenses with my music and gigs and whatnot but there is always the offchance that this doesn't last. So I don't wanna be completely caught with my ass in the wind if I end up choking and this whole music carreer doesn't really happen."\n\n"Ok wait, if your music covers your expenses why the hell are you working in a literal hellhole like this? \n\n"Well it covers my expenses about 1:1 but I need more cash than that dude. Gear isn't cheap. \n\n"But like, a laywer?" \n\n"I wanna try to like work with musicians, young up and comers that always end up getting mutilated by record labels, help people negotiate contracts so they can still own their music."\n\n"Ok, yeah that does sound more like you." I feel a gigantic sense of relief that I didn't completely misread Dan, my heart couldn't have taken that level of betrayal, but in the end none of this matters does it?\n\nWe pull up to the designated address, I dash out of the car to front of the house.\n\n[[Place it nicely in front of the door]]

Dan's pretty cool he's an electronic musician that goes to the art school that partially shares a campus with this one. He doesn't talk a whole hell of a alot but he at least knows enough about comics and music to shoot the shit with. He has a bit of an air of importance that surrounds him and I gotta admit the shit can be downright repellant when he dials it up, I always wonder how he maintains that kind of aura without being a massive douche. Might be his fucking superpower. \n\n[[Cool send me his soundclown account.|Who do you work with?]]

Nah.\n[[Give Dan the next order]]\n[[Give Todd the next order]]

You might be right about me. I'm harsh and jusgemental and have a pretty high opinion of myself. Honestly I think that's what makes me punk rock in a sense. My perceived self importance. \n\nIn a way Todd and I are similar, we have little regard for what people think about us and act accordingly. \n\nWe just value different things. When I meet somebody like Todd I feel compelled to convert them to my way of thinking but is that the right thing to do. Another me that was born in London probably has more complex answers to these questions but I'm not really at liberty to ask those at the moment.\n\nTodd continues on. He starts talking about his favorite tech bro's on twitter and which ones made more money this week and I start to lose my shit a bit.\n\nWe make the delivery and we pull into the back of a Coffee shop that's a bit out of the way, the one on campus is already closed this one has a drive thru window. I tell Todd to pull into the back and he does which suprises me, but maybe it shouldn't given what I'm doing right now. \n\n[[Activate Cyborg mode and murder Todd like the psychopath that you are]]

[[Give the final order to Tony]]

I continue my brutal psychoanalysis of a guy I don't like that much. You see I have a sort of thing I have to do. I don't wanna just say it out loud because If I was reading that story and the asshole narrating it just kinda exposited everything overtly I'd think that was pretty damn lame even if the aformentioned exposition was dope as shit. In another life I wrote comics, damn good ones so by some logic I do know what I'm talking about. But you see If I elborate on that too much outright, It won't be nearly as fun. \n\nTodd's not really deserving of his own dialouge so I'm gonna paraphrase a bit. \n\nI know I'm really mean to this dude and I do feel a bit bad about it, part of this isn't his fault and part of it is. Remember that aforementioned black hole, not quite as metaphorical as I was implying a little bit ago. \n\nIt's cyclical and messy but It's also just how the universe kinda works you know?\n\nHe rambles on to me about crytpocurrency and the shitload of money he's about to make with his various online enterprises. I'm a little impressed mostly at his confidence that this will work despite the numerous previous attempts that flat out fucking didn't. \n\nI tend to be a defeatist, If I fail and eat shit at something it's hard for me to want to do it again especially something big. This may be why my punk band Daryl and the Dickheads fell apart in a spectacular supernova. But hey, silver lining is I know that I got nothing else do here anymore. I can fully focus on this. Tonight and not have to worry about that. It's done. It's over. An aborted storyline. Dropped subplot with no resolution. The worst part of the story because it's complete and udder lack of closure. All that shit. \n\nIt's funny I mention that to you because in my actual ears I get asked by Todd a question I've answered a jillion times. "Who was Daryl" \n\nThere was no Daryl that was the joke, I've been told it's not funny but fuck you it makes me laugh so that means it's funny on some level. There was no Daryl so it meant we were all dickheads. Not rocket science or high brow really but hey when I think about it smirk like a dickhead and that's enough for me. That's punk rock to me. Is it punk rock to you? Fuck you you're opinion doesn't matter to me and neither does his. \n\nYou feel that? That is pure and simpe sychronization. I'm in sync right now between you and him. I'm pouring my heart and soul upon two knaves at once. \n\nSorry I'm being a bit of a dick right now I can tell I tend to get carried away when I have the breathe the same air as this chucklefuck. \n\n[[Calm down dude]]

[[Give the Final order to Dan]]

Donuts and Premature Conclusions

This one tipped alright, Tony deserves it. Good call. I need to talk to him anyway. Thanks.\n\nTony is playing his Gamebro color on his eightieth playthrough of highly marketable cartoon creature game. \n\n"Tone, order up."\n\n"Tip?"\n\n"Yeah, 4.50 not bad at all."\n\n"Thank Zeus, I'll take it right out."\n\n"I'm coming with you."\n\n"Why?"\n\n"We need to talk."\n\n"Alright I guess, won't Jim get pissed off?"\n\n"I don't give a shit, it won't matter anyway."\n\nHe gives me a worried look, I swear I'm not usually like this. I must look like a lunatic. \n\n[[Let's head out]]

[[Give the final order to Pete]]\n[[Give the final order to Todd]]

[[Give the final order to Todd]]\n[[Give the final order to Pete]]

THE END\n

The store's atomosphere of Grim Austerity no longer fucking matters to me. I am immune to it now. I have moved passed it and it is fucking irrelevant.\n\nThis store is no longer my prison. These overpriced fucking donuts and boxes of tea. \n\nJim says something but I tune him out. He is of no consequence now. \n\nI have the next order, tip is ok. Whomst doth I bequeatheth it to? \n\n[[Shut the fuck up]]

Nice tip. Whatever. Doesn't matter but I like to pretend it does.\n\nWe head back to the store. \n\n"Tony please. I want you to trust me."\n\n"Of course dude."\n\n"I am going to do the right thing, but first you need to finish reading that."\n\n"But I need to clock out..."\n\n"Fuck that, just do what I'm telling you, please trust me."\n\n[[Time ceases to exist as he reads the comic book titled The Apocalypse Brigade]]

[[Give the final order to Pete?]]\n[[Give the final order to Tony]]

Yeah.\n\nGuess this is it.\n\nTodd is listening to some garbage I bet, he's propped against the wall near the door with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He finally started smoking like he said he's wanted to for months.\n\n"I think i'm gonna start smoking actual cigarettes no more of this fake vape shit."\n\nHe started vaping in highschool because the girl he was dating had a thing for guys that smoked because she watched too many noir movies. He half assed it like he did everything in his life and settled for vaping this strawberry shit. He's never told me this but I know it, it's played out like a movie to me every time I look him in the eye. She broke up with him and it emasculated him so much that it's haunted him to this day. Those Canadian Spirits aren't gonna make this pain go away, you gotta look deeper my guy, there is a truly nebulous festering hole in your soul and you are doing nothing but scratching it open further. This is the thing that makes Todd truly dangerous. People like him start out pathetic but their black hole starts to engulf others and eventually a narrative starts to form on it's own. \n\nEverybody loves a tragic hero. \n\nI waggle my hand in front of his face, sometimes I get off on being annoying sue me. He pulls his gaze away from social media and meets with me a look of abject scorn.\n\n"Todd, I'm coming with you on this order."\n"Why?"\n"I'm craving a coffee, and I don't feel like walking."\n"Fine, ok. I could go for one too."\n\n[[Go Deeper]]

You might be right about me. I'm harsh and jusgemental and have a pretty high opinion of myself. Honestly I think that's what makes me punk rock in a sense. My perceived self importance. \n\nIn a way Todd and I are similar, we have little regard for what people think about us and act accordingly. \n\nWe just value different things. When I meet somebody like Todd I feel compelled to convert them to my way of thinking but is that the right thing to do. Another me that was born in London probably has more complex answers to these questions but I'm not really at liberty to ask those at the moment.\n\nTodd continues on. He starts talking about his favorite tech bro's on twitter and which ones made more money this week and I start to lose my shit a bit.\n\nWe make the delivery and we pull into the back of a Coffee shop that's a bit out of the way, the one on campus is already closed this one has a drive thru window. I tell Todd to pull into the back and he does which suprises me, but maybe it shouldn't given what I'm doing right now. \n\n[[Turn into a cyborg and murder Todd in cold fucking blood]]

Nah, he went home already. That's fine. Let him live his life free of my judgements. \n\n[[Give the final order to Todd]]

Everything is over now. Three Orders. No more donuts. It's all over. I get into Tony's car and he looks at me. I know he wants to ask me why my name is on the cover of a comic book from the 1980s that was never written before but he read them and here they are. \n\n\nThat's the power of Apocalypse Brigade. It's real.\n\n[[To the harbor]]

I don't think I'm as ready as I thought I was. I'm sorry I kept you here along for this. It's honestly quite pathetic. \n\nPlease don't judge me too harshly my fragile ego couldn't handle that. \n\nI just want to be a hero.\n\nI've been obsessed with that. \n\nWhere did that idea come from? Is that what I want? Is that what he wants?\n\nI guess it doesn't matter. I'll become part of a greater me shortly. At least I'll get to see what the fuck this even looks like.\n\nListen you only have to click two more things. I can feel my influence fading.\n\nMy thoughts go to Jim, Dan and Pete. The ones left behind, forced to exist soley in this mediocre thing. Tony and I get to live on. \n\nThat sucks.\n\nThis sucks.\n\nOh shit. While I was mometarily sucked into the abyss of fucking despair we arrived. She should be here soon.\n\nThis wasn't much of a story was it? I'm sorry about that. I wanna say it was out of my control but I am sick and tired of dodging responsibility. \n\nHave a nice life.\n\n[[Look upon her]]

Ray's Breadcycle started in 2011 at the University of Bradburn when aspiring buisiness student Raymond Gloister started selling edibles out of the back of a milk crate on his bike on campus. Realizing that he could nickle and dime fellow Yupsters-in-Training by selling them decent tasting pastries with barely any weed in them he had the epiphane that made him the millionaire he claims to be. \n\nHe figured that not all stuck up rich white college kids would want pot pastries but nearly all of them would lose their shit at the idea of healthy pastries. He observed them in their natural habitat, paying more for worse tasting food because the marketing claimed it was more health concious.\n\nBy 2014 it was chain in eight states.\n\nBy 2018 I was unfortunate enough to be employed by this buissiness after I dropped out of the aforementioned Bradburn University and tried to start a classic punk rock band with no success. \n\nSo here I am unfreezing overpriced 'health food' for people I hate more than life itself. \n\n[[At least I have a job, you say as some people are not quite so lucky.]]

I am a being of pure energy now I merely materialize the order in my hands and proceed out the door. Jim way as well not exist anymore.\n\n[[End this]]

I continue my brutal psychoanalysis of a guy I don't like that much. You see I have a sort of thing I have to do. I don't wanna just say it out loud because If I was reading that story and the asshole narrating it just kinda exposited everything overtly I'd think that was pretty damn lame even if the aformentioned exposition was dope as shit. In another life I wrote comics, damn good ones so by some logic I do know what I'm talking about. But you see If I elborate on that too much outright, It won't be nearly as fun. \n\nTodd's not really deserving of his own dialouge so I'm gonna paraphrase a bit. \n\nI know I'm really mean to this dude and I do feel a bit bad about it, part of this isn't his fault and part of it is. Remember that aforementioned black hole, not quite as metaphorical as I was implying a little bit ago. \n\nIt's cyclical and messy but It's also just how the universe kinda works you know?\n\nHe rambles on to me about crytpocurrency and the shitload of money he's about to make with his various online enterprises. I'm a little impressed mostly at his confidence that this will work despite the numerous previous attempts that flat out fucking didn't. \n\nI tend to be a defeatist, If I fail and eat shit at something it's hard for me to want to do it again especially something big. This may be why my punk band Daryl and the Dickheads fell apart in a spectacular supernova. But hey, silver lining is I know that I got nothing else do here anymore. I can fully focus on this. Tonight and not have to worry about that. It's done. It's over. An aborted storyline. Dropped subplot with no resolution. The worst part of the story because it's complete and udder lack of closure. All that shit. \n\nIt's funny I mention that to you because in my actual ears I get asked by Todd a question I've answered a jillion times. "Who was Daryl" \n\nThere was no Daryl that was the joke, I've been told it's not funny but fuck you it makes me laugh so that means it's funny on some level. There was no Daryl so it meant we were all dickheads. Not rocket science or high brow really but hey when I think about it smirk like a dickhead and that's enough for me. That's punk rock to me. Is it punk rock to you? Fuck you you're opinion doesn't matter to me and neither does his. \n\nYou feel that? That is pure and simpe sychronization. I'm in sync right now between you and him. I'm pouring my heart and soul upon two knaves at once. \n\nSorry I'm being a bit of a dick right now I can tell, I tend to get carried away when I have the breathe the same air as this chucklefuck. \n\n[[dude what]]

Who are you to tell me what to do. How do you even know where I am. I guess you can pick this up based on context clues but that's really arrogant of you to just fucking make assumptions like that.\n\nNo don't give me that shit about "well that was the only choice." I know full well what the last page consisted of motherfucker. I wrote that shit. I wrote all of it. I guess I should give you a break for a sec. I don't mean to keep bullying you like this but for real you are basically my hostage right now, So I just need you to keep reading and play along, it'll be fun I promise and nobody will get hurt. \n\n[[Okay, you say wearily with a scornful lack of trust in your fellow fucking man]]

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Oh you know how those big chain coffee shops let you buy this big carbboard carton of coffee, for like a meeting with your boring coworkers or some shit? Well Ray thought it would be a good idea to do this but with tea. It's 35.87 for a Tea Box and we straight up just use storebought tea leaves. It's so criminal but anybody that falls for this on a regular basis isn't deserving of my sympathy. \n\n[[Get that order together dude!]]

[[Give the Final order to Dan]]\n[[Give the Final order to Pete??]]

Nah.\n[[Give Tony the NEXT order]]\n[[Give Todd the NEXT order]]

I am a being of pure energy now I merely materialize the order in my hands and proceed out the door. Jim way as well not exist anymore.\n\n[[Final order]]

Whatever you say, but I guess I don't approve of your judgemental tone but I am the one that introduced all of this complex moral ambiguity into the narrative so I guess I reap what I sow somewhat. \n\nTodd looks at me with a genuine fear, something he's never let himself truly feel, this is important as another Todd somewhere is feeling this. A much more powerful and dangerous Todd. This Todd is by and large; innocent. He was a douche and treated people badly, he was probably gonna amount to something terrible overall like most of his peers but I'm just doing my part to shrink the black hole. \n\nMy palm rearranges itself into a Hyper Laser Blaster Cannon. In the 80s when I had my fill of the burning remains of the punk scene I ended up having a short but invaluable solo career in Japan, around this time I became infatuated with their comics much as I had spent the entirety of my life enamoured with our comics. They just have a sense of earnestness that we forgot along the way somewhere. But I take the lessons I learned in my time there deadly seriously. So now I have a Hyper Laser Blaser Cannon.\n\nI wanna address your growing concerns about my dubious reliability as a narrator as this information is brutally contradictory to what I told you earlier, this will all make sense I promise but please fulfull your purpose to me and let me do this. You have to see it. It's not a story unless there is an audience. You have to know this happened. It's my job to tell you.\n\nHe doesn't get to say anything, I vaporize the top half of his body and quickly return my arm to just a regular ass arm. Nobody will find the body for a while after I stash his car away. Well they'll find it eventually probably but that won't matter. It'll make sense soon. Anyway I gotta finish this shift first. \n\n[[!????!?!]]

Yeah I thought you'd react that way. You see that's why I didn't lead with that. You don't have the context of the full pictutre and that's fine. It's the role i've decided that you play in this. Sorry, if I told you in advance it might now have played out this way. I needed it to happed exactly as it did. \n\nI may not have been the best person for the job but I can only blame myself for this afterall. \n\nI end up walking back to the store, I grab a decaf on the way back. We do sell coffee at the store but it sucks and isn't even worth stealing.\n\nI get back to the store, the other shoe is about to hit the floor hard.\n\n[[Check out the impending shoe droppage]]

"Tony did you read those comics I gave you?"\n\n"Yeah, I'm still working through them."\n\n"Dude, I gave them to you like five weeks ago how long does it take you to read 40 issues of a damn comic book! This shit is important!"\n\n"I'm sorry man I just got distracted when I found my gamebro in my mom's..."\n\n"Don't tell me you completely succumbed to the nostalgia virus."\n\n"Come on dude."\n\n"Don't give me that I've lectured you on this enough. Things are gonna go off tonight and you are not prepared in the least."\n\n"Oh come on so you're telling me that your nostalgia takes priority over mine?"\n\n"I'm not even nostalgic for this comic, It sucks actually this time but it's important that you read it!"\n\n"What do you mean 'this time?'"\n\n"It'll all make sense soon."\n\n[[Refuse to elaborate to your only friend]]

I am a being of pure energy now I merely materialize the order in my hands and proceed out the door. Jim way as well not exist anymore.\n\n[[Final order?]]

[[Give Dan the next order]]\n[[Give Pete the next order]]\n[[Give Todd the next order]]

Are you serious? This guy? Fine, this is what I fucking get for putting my fate in your hands for a minute. I hope you really appreciate all the "interactivity" and "narrative design" I'm dishing out for you. Fucking really hope this shit is worth it. \n\nOh fuck dude and the tip is huge are you kidding me? This asshat doesn't deserve it. \n\nBut whatever, what you say goes.\n\nTodd is listening to some garbage I bet, he's propped against the wall near the door with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He finally started smoking like he said he's wanted to for months.\n\n"I think i'm gonna start smoking actual cigarettes no more of this fake vape shit."\n\nHe started vaping in highschool because the girl he was dating had a thing for guys that smoked because she watched too many noir movies. He half assed it like he did everything in his life and settled for vaping this strawberry shit. He's never told me this but I know it, it's played out like a movie to me every time I look him in the eye. She broke up with him and it emasculated him so much that it's haunted him to this day. Those Canadian Spirits aren't gonna make this pain go away, you gotta look deeper my guy, there is a truly nebulous festering hole in your soul and you are doing nothing but scratching it open further. This is the thing that makes Todd truly dangerous. People like him start out pathetic but their black hole starts to engulf others and eventually a narrative starts to form on it's own. \n\nEverybody loves a tragic hero. \n\nI waggle my hand in front of his face, sometimes I get off on being annoying sue me. He pulls his gaze away from social media and meets with me a look of abject scorn.\n\n"Todd, I'm coming with you on this order."\n"Why?"\n"I'm craving a coffee, and I don't feel like walking."\n"Fine, ok. I could go for one too."\n\n[[Prod Deeper]]\n

Oh this is a big tip... Maybe Dan deserves this one. Good idea.\n\nDan is huddled near the front window of the store at one of the small tables usually used by customers before the front of house closes for the night. He is wearing his expensive headphones and staring into space blinking as inoften as possible. He's gone to the world right now and will be until the track he's listening to is over, so I have a very narrow window of time to get his attention. \n\n35 seconds pass and I make my move. \n\n"Yo, order." \n\nDan removes his headphones and takes the box wordlessly, I can tell he very much would like to continue listening to whatever he was listening to in his car. As he stands up I follow him out of the store.\n\n"Where are you going?" he asks frankly.\n"I'm going with you, it's a nice night I don't wanna defrost anymore donuts. May as well 'help' you out right?" \n"You really must be bored tonight."\n"Dude you have no fucking idea."\n\n[[Get into Dan's Car]]

This one tipped alright, Tony deserves it. Good call. I need to talk to him anyway. Thanks.\n\nTony is playing his Gamebro color on his eightieth playthrough of highly marketable cartoon creature game. \n\n"Tone, order up."\n\n"Tip?"\n\n"Nope."\n\n"Fuck, I'll take it right out."\n\n"I'm coming with you."\n\n"Why?"\n\n"We need to talk."\n\n"Alright I guess, won't Jim get pissed off?"\n\n"I don't give a shit, it won't matter anyway."\n\nHe gives me a worried look, I swear I'm not usually like this. I must look like a lunatic. \n\n[[Let's go!]]

I feel like I owe everybody here an apology. I didn't think this through at all. This was all written so hastily by somebody that has no right writing anything let alone hijacking a narrative. I don't know.\n\nI feel a little guilty.\n\nI ended it early.\n\nI caused the apocalypse.\n\nTony and I are going to be fine for the most part. We have a ride out of this sinking ship. He's only keeping it together as well as he is because of me. I kinda gave up at this point. I'm just puppeting him and that makes me feel like shit. \n\nAm I really a hero?\n\nMaybe a cooler version of me is. \n\nBut I straight up suck. \n\nI feel like I did what I was supposed to.\n\n[[Why do I feel this way?]]

Todd sucks. He's a student here and I can barely stand to even be in the same room as him. He's one of those guys that's actually kind of smart but he's been told he's smart by every single person in his life and it's made him the single most frustrating individual on the planet. Motherfucker would be 15% more tolerable if he didn't always use Twitster. Just goes on and on and on about whatever the fuck his favorite techbros are going on about. I can't tell what's more pathetic his ultrafixation with these sociopathic rich people or Tony's goddamnn idol waifus. \n\n[[Man, sounds like a dick|Who do you work with?]]

Kurt Harrison

Yeah I thought you'd react that way. You see that's why I didn't lead with that. You don't have the context of the full pictutre and that's fine. It's the role i've decided that you play in this. Sorry, if I told you in advance it might now have played out this way. I needed it to happed exactly as it did. \n\nI may not have been the best person for the job but I can only blame myself for this afterall. \n\nI end up walking back to the store, I grab a decaf on the way back. We do sell coffee at the store but it sucks and isn't even worth stealing.\n\nI get back to the store, got a few more things to do before the other shoe drops.\n\n[[Check back in on Jim]]

You know the tip on this doesn't suck that bad, maybe i'll give this one to Dan. You're right good choice. \n\nDan is huddled near the front window of the store at one of the small tables usually used by customers before the front of house closes for the night. He is wearing his expensive headphones and staring into space blinking as inoften as possible. He's gone to the world right now and will be until the track he's listening to is over, so I have a very narrow window of time to get his attention. \n\n35 seconds pass and I make my move. \n\n"Yo, order." \n\nDan removes his headphones and takes the box wordlessly, I can tell he very much would like to continue listening to whatever he was listening to in his car. As he stands up I follow him out of the store.\n\n"Where are you going?" he asks frankly.\n"I'm going with you, it's a nice night I don't wanna defrost anymore donuts. May as well 'help' you out right?" \n"You really must be bored tonight."\n"Dude you have no fucking idea."\n\n[[Get in Dan's Car]]

Yeah I thought you'd react that way. You see that's why I didn't lead with that. You don't have the context of the full pictutre and that's fine. It's the role i've decided that you play in this. Sorry, if I told you in advance it might now have played out this way. I needed it to happed exactly as it did. \n\nI may not have been the best person for the job but I can only blame myself for this afterall. \n\nI end up walking back to the store, I grab a decaf on the way back. We do sell coffee at the store but it sucks and isn't even worth stealing.\n\nI get back to the store, got a few more things to do before the other shoe drops.\n\n[[Check up on Jim?]]

Nah, I don't feel like jeapordizing my life on such an important night. Pete claims he's a better driver when he's cooked out of his mind but I'm a smarter cookie than that. \n\n[[Give Tony the order]]\n[[Give Dan the order]]\n[[Give Todd the order]]

I just did asshole calm the hell down, You don't need to tell me what to do constantly this isn't my first rodeo. \n\nI can do this shit in my sleep, it's why this shit bites so hard. Not only is my freewill compromised for thirty hours a week I am also forced to face the psychic equivilent of a deprivation tank at the same time. \n\nNow watch and learn, I've got this shit down to a science. But things are gonna go a little different tonight. No way in fuck am I gonna sit on my ass all night and let myself wither in this shitty little store. I have objectives tonight. This may be the most important night of my life. Or at least from my perspective. \n\n[[Elaborate]]

Fucking donuts. \n\nFucking croissants. \n\nFucking goddamn... whole grain health food overpriced bagels that are frozen an hour before we sell them. \n\n7.55 for a bagel with chive creamcheese?? Why the hell is it 7.55, not 7.99, not 6.99. 7.99. I talked to Ray about it a while back and he said it was "brilliant".\n\nA customer usually expects something to end with 99, that's the old hat trick. Something in the mind convicnes us that 7.99 is a more tolerable number than 8.00. But we have kind of... adjusted to this deception and expect it, it's no longer a deception it just kinda fucking IS, you know. But Ray was saying that prices with arbitrary random numbers at the end are more tolerable. Somebody is more willing to pay 7.55 than 6.99. I started tuning him out after that because I was getting ill just listening to him boast about his brilliant psychological manipulation of the masses. \n\n[[Get back to fucking work]]

Nah, he went home already. That's fine. Let him live his life free of my judgements. \n[[Give the Final order to Dan]]\n

No, I just believe in you. \n\n[[Ok, whatever you say]]

You don't need to tell me, I'm not some sort of subhuman scumbag. I may resent this job but I don't hate our... man ok yeah look I do but I want to encourage them to tip so I'm not gonna do whatever horrible thing I guess you are anticipating me to do.\n\nI place the order in front of the door and I ring the doorbell.\n\nJob well done.\n\nI get back into Dan's car. \n\n"I want a burrito." he announces with a degree of self importance. It works, whatever he intended to do with this assertation. I want one now too. \n\n"Is Taco Grail still open? It's late as shit."\n\n"They should be, at least the one close to campus usually is."\n\n"Well shit, let's get a burrito."\n\n"You know that one asshole on VideoTub?" Dan asks as we pull into the drivethru. \n\n"Which asshole on VideoTub? They're all assholes."\n\n"The one locksmith guy, Dr. Lock or something,"\n\n"That really sounds like scratching the bottom of the barrel in terms of content."\n\n"This guy is a complete sociopath you'd hate him more than anybody."\n\n"You really have to be a nightmare of a person to stick out that badly among other VidTubbers."\n\n"Yeah well to preface this he's sponsored by Millenium Locks."\n\n"Is there anything in this fucking country they don't own already?"\n\n"Right? Well this guy what he does is he has in depth tutorials on how to easily break into every other modern lock. He basically openly endorses robbing people that don't use Millenium Locks." \n\n"I wish I could say I was suprised that a dude like this is blowing up."\n\n"Yeah, guy is making crazy money. The comment sections are littered with people calling him 'brave' for sharing this information all over." \n\n"I mean i'm all for freedom of information but his whole motive is fucked."\n\n"Oh of course."\n\nOur conversation peters out to silence as we eat our burritoes in silence. \n\n[[Go back to the store]]\n

Nah, he went home already. That's fine. Let him live his life free of my judgements. \n[[Give the final order to Tony]]\n

Yeah I thought you'd react that way. You see that's why I didn't lead with that. You don't have the context of the full pictutre and that's fine. It's the role i've decided that you play in this. Sorry, if I told you in advance it might now have played out this way. I needed it to happed exactly as it did. \n\nI may not have been the best person for the job but I can only blame myself for this afterall. \n\nI end up walking back to the store, I grab a decaf on the way back. We do sell coffee at the store but it sucks and isn't even worth stealing.\n\nI get back to the store, got a few more things to do before the other shoe drops.\n\n[[Check up on Jim]]

I am a being of pure energy now I merely materialize the order in my hands and proceed out the door. Jim way as well not exist anymore.\n\n[[Roll on through]]

"Kurt, what the fuck are you doing over there?" Jim shouts from across the store, while I was busy dealing with {You} I started zoning out I guess, multitasking is harder than it looks cut me some slack.\n\n"Nothing just thinking."\n\n"We have a big order, dozen donuts and a tea box."\n\nFucking tea box, don't even get me started it's dumber than it sounds. \n\n"I'll get the recipt gimme a sec."\n\n"Hurry the hell up dude these kids need their donuts. If one of these assholes fails their next exam because they lacked the tea and donuts needed to get through this particularly brutal study session you are just a fucking bad person in an objective sense. We are literally expected to die for these students. To get them their HEALTHY and FAIRLY PRICED DONUTS and CARBOHYDRATES. They are the BEST and BRIGHTEST. Dude if you don't hurry up this kid could straight up fail out and never become the guy that cures cancer. Can you live with that?"\n\nI stand their for a moment in silence because Jim's ability to say such audacious shit with such a vague level of irony never ceases to completely flush all thoughts from my brain.\n\n[[What what's a tea box?]]

No tip... whatever Dan'll understand. I got bigger fish to fry tonight.\n\nDan is huddled near the front window of the store at one of the small tables usually used by customers before the front of house closes for the night. He is wearing his expensive headphones and staring into space blinking as inoften as possible. He's gone to the world right now and will be until the track he's listening to is over, so I have a very narrow window of time to get his attention. \n\n35 seconds pass and I make my move. \n\n"Yo, order." \n\nDan removes his headphones and takes the box wordlessly, I can tell he very much would like to continue listening to whatever he was listening to in his car. As he stands up I follow him out of the store.\n\n"Where are you going?" he asks frankly.\n"I'm going with you, it's a nice night I don't wanna defrost anymore donuts. May as well 'help' you out right?" \n"You really must be bored tonight."\n"Dude you have no fucking idea."\n\n[[Get into Dan's car]]

I am a being of pure energy now I merely materialize the order in my hands and proceed out the door. Jim way as well not exist anymore.\n\n[[Rock and Roll]]

[[Give Dan the following order]]\n[[Give Tony the following order]]\n[[Give Pete the following order]]

Tony's my friend, which is why I'm the most critical of him. He's young too, freshman. Not a bad kid at all and he's heading in the right direction he just has so many viruses in his head that I have taken the liberty of trying to eradicate one by one. He's so close. He can be a bit much sometimes to hang out with when he will go off about the new idol show or something but I try not to hold it against him. It's not his fault he's like this. He at least has been humoring me with my media reccomendations. So it's not that bad.\n\n[[Sounds ok|Who do you work with?]]

Nah, he went home already. That's fine. Let him live his life free of my judgements.\n[[Give the final order to Tony]]\n

Are you serious? This guy? Fine, this is what I fucking get for putting my fate in your hands for a minute. I hope you really appreciate all the "interactivity" and "narrative design" I'm dishing out for you. Fucking really hope this shit is worth it. \n\nOh fuck dude, the tip is huge are you kidding me? This asshat doesn't deserve it. \n\nBut whatever, what you say goes.\n\nTodd is listening to some garbage I bet, he's propped against the wall near the door with an unlit cigarette in his mouth. He finally started smoking like he said he's wanted to for months.\n\n"I think i'm gonna start smoking actual cigarettes no more of this fake vape shit."\n\nHe started vaping in highschool because the girl he was dating had a thing for guys that smoked because she watched too many noir movies. He half assed it like he did everything in his life and settled for vaping this strawberry shit. He's never told me this but I know it, it's played out like a movie to me every time I look him in the eye. She broke up with him and it emasculated him so much that it's haunted him to this day. Those Canadian Spirits aren't gonna make this pain go away, you gotta look deeper my guy, there is a truly nebulous festering hole in your soul and you are doing nothing but scratching it open further. This is the thing that makes Todd truly dangerous. People like him start out pathetic but their black hole starts to engulf others and eventually a narrative starts to form on it's own. \n\nEverybody loves a tragic hero. \n\nI waggle my hand in front of his face, sometimes I get off on being annoying sue me. He pulls his gaze away from social media and meets with me a look of abject scorn.\n\n"Todd, I'm coming with you on this order."\n"Why?"\n"I'm craving a coffee, and I don't feel like walking."\n"Fine, ok. I could go for one too."\n\n[[Prod a bit Deeper]]\n

It's One thirty five and I am fucking bored.\n\nI should be asleep right now. \n\nBut i'd most likely just be masturbating if I was at home.\n\nFuck, sorry I didn't mean to say that. \n\nPlease don't think any less of me I don't think I could take it. \n\nI have a tendency to overshare when I do things like this. \n\nWhat am I doing exactly? I can't say that upfront but it'll make sense when you get far enough along. \n\nI'm sorry again.\n\n[[Your expression tightens as you hastily proceed wanting to move along almost as much as I want you to]]

I frisbee the order the fuck out of the window.\n\nJob well done.\n\nI get back into Dan's car. \n\n"I want a burrito." he announces with a degree of self importance. It works, whatever he intended to do with this assertation. I want one now too. \n\n"Is Taco Grail still open? It's late as shit."\n\n"They should be, at least the one close to campus usually is."\n\n"Well shit, let's get a burrito."\n\n"You know that one asshole on VideoTub?" Dan asks as we pull into the drivethru. \n\n"Which asshole on VideoTub? They're all assholes."\n\n"The one locksmith guy, Dr. Lock or something,"\n\n"That really sounds like scratching the bottom of the barrel in terms of content."\n\n"This guy is a complete sociopath you'd hate him more than anybody."\n\n"You really have to be a nightmare of a person to stick out that badly among other VidTubbers."\n\n"Yeah well to preface this he's sponsored by Millenium Locks."\n\n"Is there anything in this fucking country they don't own already?"\n\n"Right? Well this guy what he does is he has in depth tutorials on how to easily break into every other modern lock. He basically openly endorses robbing people that don't use Millenium Locks." \n\n"I wish I could say I was suprised that a dude like this is blowing up."\n\n"Yeah, guy is making crazy money. The comment sections are littered with people calling him 'brave' for sharing this information all over." \n\n"I mean i'm all for freedom of information but his whole motive is fucked."\n\n"Oh of course."\n\nOur conversation peters out to silence as we eat our burritoes in silence. \n\n[[Get back to the... store]]\n

For a moment I want to tell Dan everything, like all of it. But I can't. It'd be too cruel to dish this all onto him now. He deserves to know but I don't think it'd be right. I at least wouldn't be able to sleep at night. That might make me selfish but once again I'm only human. I may be in a position of incredible power that even you my darling hostage have no idea about but I truly am just a guy. \n\nI think about this while I ruminate on the sour cream and cheese of my burrito until my thoughts turn to a highly successful trilogy of space fantasy films that defined my country's pop culture output basically into the forseeable future. I wonder if it's the same way for you.\n\nI get out of the car and look at Dan for a little too long, I'm usually way to awesome to wear my true feelings on my stupid face but I am legit bummed the fuck out and it's obvious. Dan gives me a concerned yet distant smile. That's enough, all I need to know. \n\nThe day is done.\n[[Check out the impending shoe droppage]]

Who am I?\n\nI am the Punk Rock Apocalypse.\n\nI am the Ultra Dense Dark Center of the Universe. \n\nI am the Raging Demigod of Ultimate Destruction.\n\nI am the Last Thing you will ever see. \n\nI am the Fury of the New World. \n\nI am the Rot of the Core.\n\nI am an underpaid employee.\n\nI am fucking bored.\n\nIt is currently one twenty seven in the morning and I have been here for seven goddamn hours already.\n\nI make 13.50 an hour which is pretty good compared to previous jobs but it still places me woefully under the poverty line. \n\n[[Go on, you say sympathetic to my plight, eyes wet with the tears of the downtrodden working man/woman/gendernonconforming person you are]]

[[Give Tony the NEXT order]]\n[[Give Pete the NEXT order]]\n[[Give Todd the NEXT order]]

You might be right about me. I'm harsh and jusgemental and have a pretty high opinion of myself. Honestly I think that's what makes me punk rock in a sense. My perceived self importance. \n\nIn a way Todd and I are similar, we have little regard for what people think about us and act accordingly. \n\nWe just value different things. When I meet somebody like Todd I feel compelled to convert them to my way of thinking but is that the right thing to do. Another me that was born in London probably has more complex answers to these questions but I'm not really at liberty to ask those at the moment.\n\nTodd continues on. He starts talking about his favorite tech bro's on twitter and which ones made more money this week and I start to lose my shit a bit.\n\n[[Transform into a cyborg and kill the shit out of Todd like the heartless monster you are]]

For a moment I want to tell Dan everything, like all of it. But I can't. It'd be too cruel to dish this all onto him now. He deserves to know but I don't think it'd be right. I at least wouldn't be able to sleep at night. That might make me selfish but once again I'm only human. I may be in a position of incredible power that even you my darling hostage have no idea about but I truly am just a guy. \n\nI think about this while I ruminate on the sour cream and cheese of my burrito until my thoughts turn to a highly successful trilogy of space fantasy films that defined my country's pop culture output basically into the forseeable future. I wonder if it's the same way for you.\n\nI get out of the car and look at Dan for a little too long, I'm usually way to awesome to wear my true feelings on my stupid face but I am legit bummed the fuck out and it's obvious. Dan gives me a concerned yet distant smile. That's enough, all I need to know. \n\nI think we got three more orders to get through.\n\n[[Check on Jim]]

You see, the way this system works is that we have 'Bakers' and 'Bikers'. I'm a baker and I don't bake, I merely defrost frozen shit all day and take customers in person but the door is locked after midnight and we're delivery only. The 'Bikers' don't ride bikes they drive cars and deliver the overpriced sawdust tasting garbage directly to the door of the aspiring corporate overlord that ordered them. \n\nToday's a bit special. I worked my wormtounge routine on Ray, he's a pretty easy target for this kind of thing and convinced him we more than likely were gonna be all kinds of busy tonight.\n\nWe're not, I saw to that. But we should have at least three more orders tonight after this one. \n\nTony is sitting down playing something on an old Gamebone Color, Collectamon or something probably. He was going on about nostalgia earlier and gives me a worried look, he can smell a lecture coming now. Smart kid.\n\nDan's listening to music minding his own buissiness, It's loud as fuck, man after my own heart. \n\nTodd's on twitter like the tool he is. \n\nPete's not here, he's more than likely smoking up out back. \n\n[[Give Tony the order]]\n[[Give Dan the order]]\n[[Give Todd the order]]\n[[Give Pete the order]]

I think you already know it, I don't know exactly what you are seeing, but I can guess. If you do a little research on this page you might be able to find out yourself. I already am feeling extremely self concious about this whole endevour but it seems to be going well so far I guess. \n\n\n[[This is a little agressive]]

I do but it's my right to complain. Given to me by our lord and savior George Washington. \n\n\nWe have a system here at Ray's. We long since stopped using bicycles and now they are more of a theming thing than anything else. Right above me mounted on the wall high above the counter is Ray's original bike he had in college. This is the original location, he stops by all the time to just... watch us work. He never comments on it, I think he just gets off on seeing us function properly as a store. Kinda like one of those guys that builds trainsets and watches them take a loop for hours, except those trains don't have hundreds of passengers that have to sit there and experience this kind of one sided catharsis. Shit creeps me the fuck out.\n\nI know it's probably nothing insidious but it makes me feel like the resident of an ant farm and if you knew what I knew this would be even more intolerable than that sounds. \n\n[[Who do you work with?]]

You might be right about me. I'm harsh and jusgemental and have a pretty high opinion of myself. Honestly I think that's what makes me punk rock in a sense. My perceived self importance. \n\nIn a way Todd and I are similar, we have little regard for what people think about us and act accordingly. \n\nWe just value different things. When I meet somebody like Todd I feel compelled to convert them to my way of thinking but is that the right thing to do. Another me that was born in London probably has more complex answers to these questions but I'm not really at liberty to ask those at the moment.\n\nTodd continues on. He starts talking about his favorite tech bro's on twitter and which ones made more money this week and I start to lose my shit a bit.\n\nWe make the delivery and we pull into the back of a Coffee shop that's a bit out of the way, the one on campus is already closed this one has a drive thru window. I tell Todd to pull into the back and he does which suprises me, but maybe it shouldn't given what I'm doing right now. \n\n[[Turn into a robot and murder Todd in cold fucking blood]]

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[[Tony]], [[Jim]], [[Dan]], [[Pete]] and [[Todd]]\n\n\nMan fuck Todd.\n\n[[What is your name]]